30102011

I hate my life today. I hated it yesterday. I hated it the day before. I forsee hating it tomorrow.

Nothing went right this weekend.

I went out on Friday night with a girlfriend. I met up with Kyle and she with Jordan. Jordan knew people there and they joined us. I flirted with the guys. They started it.
I felt sexy and wanted and attractive and fun. It was amazing.

…and all I wanted was to see you. But I can’t keep doing this.

I went home with one of the guys. I laid in his arms and all I could think of was you.

I kissed him and tasted you.

I fell asleep next to him and I craved you.

You weren’t there…

27102011

Tomorrow is the end of the Mayan calendar.
Today, I missed class thanks to an awesome lunch with Josh. I have to record myself speaking Japanese before buying the rest of my costume for Halloween. I get the next two nights off of work thanks to a girl switching nights with me. That’s three nights in a row.
I bought two new dresses. I love winter.

22102011

Today is my dad’s birthday. He’s off hunting deer at some camp. Brendan went with him.

Its been a weird few days. I’ve been working nights and my social life has taken a bit of a toll. I’ve become short with friends and strangers.
…Andrew included. He and I haven’t spent any time together recently and we’ve been in too many arguments. Makes me wonder if its a burner day for me, or a portal day. Oh well, he doesn’t follow it anyway.

I’ve been going to a church thing on most Thursdays with Miranda. She and I both want to get back to where we were spiritually when we were in high school. So, we are accountability partners for each other. And we make each other exercise three times a week too. Its kinda nice…till she eats my food or drinks my liquor.
I think Ann is doing it too. I have a very limited income and people don’t seem to notice or care.

I want to be happy. I want to be in Australia. I want to not worry about money. I want to settle down finally.

20102011

Hello to the person searching for my specific handle.

You make me special, ya know?

15102011- Dream

So, the other night I had one of the most terrifying dreams…

I dreamt the world was ending. It was late at night and I looked at the stars for a while. There were more than usual, but that didn’t seem odd. It was what they were doing. It looked like a reverse explosion, stars colliding into one big ball of light and then exploding. Multiple times. I remember yelling at someone to come look, and then I was floating in space.

 

…weird dream.