july 8th

I’m not writing this on July 8th, but the following story took place that day….

 

I went to work. It was a Friday. I had just finished my first week of summer classes in Fort Smith and agreed to work the day shift since evenings are fully staffed. Georgia called me that week to ask. I was “feeding a resident” who didn’t really need help (aside from the occasional reminder that food was in front of them) and I pulled out my phone to pass the time.
Ever since that stupid Rebecca Black song came out, I have been doing this thing with James. We’d go back and forth posting part of the lyrics on each other’s Facebook walls, just to get that song stuck in the other’s head.  I had been texting him a bit and laughing at the person in the room. Steve Irwin was on the tv, over in Egypt, looking at elephants. (I love elephants.) I get a text from Misty.
…she was backing out of the apartment deal. We had been talking about moving in together for a while and found a place with one of my other friends whom she gets along with very well. Since Misty lives in Fort Smith, she hadn’t signed the lease yet or put any money into the situation, but Ann and I had. We were moving in August and Misty was joining us in September after she graduated from beauty school. The text reads, verbatim, “Hey I’m sorry to tell you this but I’m not going to be moving in with you in September.” I received it at 12:18pm. She was at lunch. She had talked to Ginger, I’m assuming.
I was angry at first and let it get to me. I almost instantly responded with something along the lines of asking if she was moving in with CR (the boyfriend). Then, I decided against having that conversation via text. I told her if she wanted to salvage any kind of friendship, she could call me after 3pm. I needed time to think about this and let it sink in before I talked to her or anyone else for that matter. I was livid, so pissed off I couldn’t see straight. I used the rest of the day to chill out and forget about it. I had too many things running through my mind. What was I going to do? Where would Ann and I live? Could we find another roommate? What if we can’t? Is there any way we could get a different apartment with the same management? Could we find a different place all together? Would Andrew let me move in with him till I found something? Why’d she do it through text? Didn’t she know I was in town all week and we could have talked? What made her change her mind? What did Ginger say? Where am I going to live now?
So, with all those questions racing, I worked the remaining hour and a half and met up with Ann. The poor girl. She was so happy to tell her current roommate that she was moving out in August. And then Misty had to screw up the plans. Thank God, Ann had just got back from a trip to California and brought Cadbury chocolate. We sat for a bit and tried to figure out our next step when my phone rang. Misty. We talked for maybe 15 minutes. She went on about how I don’t like CR and how I was talking crap about her after she left the previous Friday when we met up at the mall.
I do not pretend to like CR. I don’t like him. Everyone knows this. Everyone. Even people who don’t know Misty or CR know I despise him. He’s worthless and useless and a piece of crap. He’s a loser who will never amount to anything.
So, we ended up fighting and I hung up on her. She then blocked me on Facebook (or had someone else to do, since I highly doubt she knows how to do it herself). I lost all respect for her when she chose to back out of this via text. She had all week to meet up with me and be adult and mature about this, but she chose to pussy out the worst way possible.

Ann heard the whole thing. It was ridiculous the things she was using as excuses to not move in. So, she and I aren’t friends anymore. And I doubt we will talk to each other for a very long time.

After that phone call, Ann and I got online to try to find a roommate but couldn’t log in to the university website since we had both forgotten our passwords. So, on the way to my place, we stopped by the complex we were supposed to move in to and talked to the manager. After explaining the situation, he informed us the only thing he had available was a 2 bedroom 1.5 bath townhouse. We agreed to take a look, since water is paid and it’s cheaper than what we were going to pay for the 3 bedroom 3 bath.
It is wonderful. We have rooms about the same size, a decent bathroom upstairs, a kitchen with more cabinet space than imaginable and a back porch. We took it. Then, went to Olive Garden to celebrate.

 

I had updated my Facebook status to the following: …so, things worked out. Turns out I am going to be better off now that she’s not gonna move in.
Ginger’s boyfriend, Wesley, decided to get involved. He posted a comment about how he’s sure Misty feels the same way, but used Ginger’s account. I told him to get off my profile, and when he said he was “free to roam as he pleased,” I told him to fuck off and I blocked that profile. So, not only did I lose one friend, I lost two. Ginger had to get involved, tell everyone she knows an exaggerated  story of what happened or the past experiences of anyone and everyone involved, so she’s gone too. Nothing is safe around her anymore. (Not that it ever really was…)

So, there’s the story of July 8th.

By the way, thanks Caleb for warning me about that day. It was my first 260 day birthday since we started talking about that calendar. It was kinda weird to think about you and be impressed something you said actually was kinda true.

705

I have no idea where to even start thinking about what to write. So much has happened…or so it seems. The past few days feel like they weren’t real, kind of dream like. And then I had some really bizarre dreams to boot. I guess I’ll start where I think I left off…

I work too much. I say that a lot, but it’s true. Maybe if I keep saying it to myself and anyone who listens, I’ll start to realize that I don’t have to do it. My last paycheck had about 24 hours of overtime on it. And I only got $50 extra because of taxes. I was a bit pissed off. This next pay check will have five days of overtime, somewhere around 40 extra hours. That’s an extra week. I better get more than just $50 more.
Every time we have the option, I take it. I want the money. I don’t enjoy working every day or even the sixteen hour days I do, despite what people think. I take the extra hours so I don’t have to worry about money later this year. I’m saving around half of my pay check every pay period. The money is taken out of the bank and put in an account that I only have access to on the weekdays from 8am to 3pm. I sleep at that time. So it works. I stay up late or get up early one day out of the two weeks and drive to another town to deposit the money. I like it that way. And I have extra money withheld by the government every pay check so when I file my taxes next year, I will get back a bigger refund. In fact, I get just about everything I pay in back. My parents still claim me as a dependent and I don’t have any dependents of my own and I’m still in school. It works.

I had a bad day yesterday or the day before. My days are foggy since I work nights. Anyway, the night before at work was pretty bad. I got audited on pericare, which means this guy came in to work at 4am to watch me clean someone’s genitals. Not my idea of fun. I freak out pretty much when someone watches me do something. If I’m in a group, no big. If I’m alone, huge deal. I think that’s why I never did like the idea of solos when I was in band. I can play the material if it’s me and someone else, but once I know people are listening to just me… I freak out. So, needless to say, I failed the audit. I have two more tries or something will happen. Maybe I’ll get fired. They can’t really afford that though. I’m working every chance I get to cover for the fact that we are super short handed. Anyway, I wasn’t too thrilled after I got off work and I went to bed in a bad mood. My phone kept waking me up so I didn’t get as much rest as I should have. I even had it on quiet. I didn’t get up to eat like I normally do so when I did finally crawl out of bed, I was pissed off and hungry and irritable. Everything pissed me off. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I wanted to crawl in a hole and be alone. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I got into an argument with Caleb. Misty avoided me. Both pissed me off more than they would normally. And to top things off, I had to go back to work that night.
Thank God I had last night off. I got up and ate with my parents, played on the internet for a bit, played outside with my cousins, got shakes and watched a movie. It almost made it okay that as soon as I got off work that morning I had to drive to another town for my retest for my certification. I got off work at 720am and was supposed to start testing at 905am. All I had to do were the skills, so I was expecting to be done and back on the road by 930am. The paper said to be there about 30 minutes before testing so paperwork could be completed. The person who gave the test didn’t arrive until 905am. We didn’t start testing till almost 930am. I had to stay two hours. I left as soon as possible and sped as much as I could and crashed as soon as I walked in the door. I got maybe 6 hours of sleep. My stomach woke me up and I ate some of the pizza my mum was awesome enough to buy. My night wasn’t so horrible. I slept after the movie for almost 12 hours.

I did go to Joplin this past weekend. I left after work Sunday morning and got up there some where around 10am. I crawled into bed with Caleb and tried to get some sleep. It was good to wake him up like that. I think I’ll try to do that more often. He really is good to me. Even after the argument we had the night before, he gave me a hug and told me he was glad to see me. We spent the majority of the morning and afternoon just snuggling and I got an hour or so of sleep.
That evening, we stayed at a hotel. There was a bit of an unpleasant spell, but nothing major. I’m glad I went up to visit. We slept in till about 11am on Monday morning, got lunch with Misty at Carino’s, went back to the hotel room and all three of us just sat and talked. At one point, Ryan came over to borrow Caleb’s laptop so he and his girl could play some game or something. I decided I needed some more sleep and somewhere in there, Misty got a call from Katie and left to meet up with Barry again and Caleb fell asleep with me. We got up around 6pm to meet up with Misty and Barry and go to the Falls for…I don’t know, some reason. I was feeling pretty sick. I think the combination of no real food and heat did me in. So, Caleb and I left again to get food and sleep. I felt so much better after that. We talked some more and ended up going back to sleep around midnight. Unfortunately, he had to be at work on Tuesday at 9am and I had some work crap to get back for by 1pm, so we parted ways that morning. Misty stayed in Joplin for a couple more hours to watch a movie with Barry. We never really got to talk about her trip.

I really can’t wait to be out of this place. I mean, I love my friends and family to pieces. I really do. But I hate where I am. I can’t wait to move so I can start and finish uni and then move out of the country. Again, I love my friends and family, I just hate it here.

702

“I’m dangerous when I know what I’m doing.”

Yesterday was quite…dramatic. I hate when it is like that. Work pretty much sucked because of it too. I agreed to go in 8 hours early since we are so short handed as long as I got to do one-on-one for the first shift I was there. No big deal. When I got there, they had taken me off and put another girl there since she has heel spurs and couldn’t walk without heaps of pain. They tried to make me work the floor for sixteen hours straight. No way I can do that. No way I will do that. So, I talked to the person who I thought was in charge of the floor plan and she said to split it, four hours each. Reluctantly I agreed and took the first half. Not even an hour into the shift, the person who is actually in charge of the floor plan comes in and tells me that I am to stay where I am for the entire shift. She had no idea about the other girl’s foot problems, so about ten minutes later she returns to the room I am in and asks if I can split it. I agree.
Later on, I am told that we have an inservice to read and sign about when a resident is on the floor. Apparently, it is not okay for them to be on the mat next to the bed that is as close to the floor as possible. Every time they are off the bed, we have to treat it as a fall. Even if they scoot themselves off the bed and onto their knees. We have to get vital signs every hour for four hours, then twice every eight hours and once every twenty four I believe. It’s a lot of work, suffice it to say. And there is one resident who constantly, repeatedly, continuously gets out of bed and crawls on the mat. We had to fill out an INA (incident report thingy) three times before I left at seven this morning. It’s ridiculous.
Shift change happens at eleven but thirty minutes before we have a walk through with one of the on-coming aids to make sure everything is in order. The girl who did the walk through showed up late and only came back to the hall when one of the other aids when to get her. She sucks at walking the hall, I should have just done it myself. But she comes and walks the hall. When eleven o’clock rolls around I see her running back and forth and kind of looking at me. I figure she’s trying to get the floor plan changed so she could be back on the lock-down unit and sit on her butt and talk. So sorry, but I worked a double I get to choose where I work and I choose my hall. Her plans were shot down before she could even think about telling me to leave. She got pissed, said she would talk to one of the admin people the next morning (which she didn’t) so she could be permanent on the lock-down unit, aka my hall. I watched her leave and smiled to myself. My crazy residents were safe for another night. Twelve o’clock rounds were done and I found a resident brown-ringed. This only happens when you allow someone to sit in a bed full of pee for hours till it dries and turns brown. There is no way this could happen in the hour and a half I had been on the hall. The walk-through person didn’t take care of them. That, my friends, is neglect. You can loose your license over stuff like that. I didn’t report it to the nurse only because the two of them are “best friends” now and she wouldn’t have done anything about it. I should probably mention I got the cold shoulder all night from the nurse. She doesn’t like to work with me since I don’t sit on my butt and talk to her. I actually work. I actually care. I actually do stuff.
The night wouldn’t have been so bad had my phone not died and I had been able to tweet or whatever. I was a little pissed off at myself for not charging it more before I went in. I like being able to tweet and kind of vent while at work. The drama is so childish…
My phone died right after I got a text from Caleb. I tried to send one back and right before I could hit “send” the screen went black.

It stormed so hard here. I love it. The lightening was constantly going and the thunder was shaking the windows. We even had flash flood warnings. The tornado warnigns floated to the north of us, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I’m just glad I got to smile at the downpour. Rain is my drug of choice.

F*** drama and those who thrive on it

I am so tired of high school drama. I hate secrets and rumours and backstabbing and just stupid crap. I thought I was out of a place where that was the norm, but I guess I was wrong.
If you don’t want to be in class and you have something to tell the person sitting next to you that just cannot wait till a break, please get out of the room before you talk or text or whatever. I am over hearing you talk to each other in what you think is a whisper and hearing you laugh and hit the table with your hands or your phone constantly vibrating in your purse or hand or lap or on the table. You are really annoying to those of us who are honestly interested in what the teacher or video is saying and hearing your noise makes us angry. Your social life is obviously way more important than the class you are interrupting, so please be kind enough to leave.
I don’t care about your drama. I don’t care about your problems with your baby momma or your parents or your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend not texting you back when you had something extremely interesting to tell them. I DON’T CARE. And I don’t want to pretend like I do. I’m sure you think I would want to know, but I really don’t.

starting again

I start classes tomorrow to be a certified nurse assistant, or CNA. 8 am will come too early, but it’s going to be well worth it.
Once I start classes, I have three weeks to get a sponsor to pay the $480 for tuition and sign a contract to work around a year. No dramas.
I talked to the local university and have enrolled. Summer classes start soon and I will be registering for as many science classes as possible.
…I’m going to have a surplus of at least $10,000 by the end of the year. I have to have it.

The drama has certainly picked up since I’ve been back, and it’s not all bad. I miss having real situations to talk about and helping people. I don’t miss being involved in said drama and having to walk on egg shells around other people.
I can’t mention several points here, but things have gotten…odd. I’m not sure what the hell is going on anymore. I’m trying not to care…