My dearest love,
You know my heart
and you know my mind.
Our wants and needs
of life are intertwined.
Your blue eyes pierced me
when we last spoke…
There is no excuse for me
I am the reason we broke.
I am at a loss for words,
I’ve said everything I can.
For the first time in my life
I have no plan.
The ball is in your court
I am taking myself out.
You are okay without me,
Of that I have no doubt.
Yours always…
Tag Archive: love
…my parents.
…my sister.
…Misty Sheren.
…Martin Funmaker.
…Sarah Elaine.
…instant messages.
…massages.
…talking to interesting people.
…living in Australia.
…figuring out a complicated problem.
…chicken.
…barbeques.
…Dorito’s chips.
…Chinese restaurants.
…Indian food.
…smoking hookah.
…orange juice.
…wine coolers.
…bubble gum flavoured like grape.
…ice cream.
…chocolate pie.
…walks on the beach.
…getting mail.
…taking pictures.
…writing.
…spending time with Caleb Roy.
…hearing babies laugh.
…making babies laugh.
…talking to Caleb James and Trevor Branch.
…watching people from a distance.
…standing on the beach where the water hits my feet.
…the wonderful person I get to go home to every day.
…waking up next to him.
…never fully realise where I am.
…always have someone I can call.
…always be there for people I love (and some I do not) despite our current situation.
…never get certain things in life.
…never have $1 million.
…never understand people.
…never try to understand people.
…never find someone I get along with all the time.
…always want more.
…always guard my heart.
…never fully give myself to anyone.
…always try to find something to laugh at.
…never stop.
…always move.
…never have a fairy tale ending.
…never have the adventures I dreamed of.
…never be another person’s world.
…be content.
I have noticed recently that more and more people are getting married. Or having babies. And I think to myself….I am so glad I am not there yet.
I see people jump into marriage after a few short months of being engaged, only knowing the other person for about a year. I see people give into those chemical reactions they feel when the other person is in the room. And while I have no place to judge whether or not the relationship will last, I can’t help but be leery about the whole thing.
These people are so sure that the other person is their “soul mate,” the one they are “destined to be with,” a person they are meant to spend the rest of their lives with. If things work out perfectly and things just fall into place for them, then how can they not see that the universe wants them to be together? On the other hand, if they have to fight for it, then they know it is worth it because the things in life you have to fight for are worth more.
These people are willing to sign a document that binds them to another person with the intention of never parting, sharing everything, till death due they part.
That is a huge commitment. Standing up, normally, before friends and family and God and saying that you love this person and you want to spend the rest of your life with them exclusively, sharing everything, raising a family, growing old together. You cannot see your life without them in it every step of the way. Maybe I am naive but this should not be entered into lightly. Something that big should be experienced one time (unless unforeseen circumstances arise, such as death) and be taken seriously by both people.
I hear about pre-nuptial agreements. I cannot say I agree with such a thing. I love the idea that you are trying to make sure that the person you intend to marry is not after your money or assets of any sort, but in my book when you sign that marriage certificate you are sharing everything, including money. Now, if you have a million dollars and upon marrying another you deposit half of that into their bank account, I would tell you that you are crazy. I would also say that if your new spouse told you that you should deposit half of your money into their bank account, then they are delusional. No person who is in love with you would want you to outright give them half of your money. I should probably say that if the idea of a pre-nup came up when I was planning to get married, that I would refuse to sign it. You should not have to sign a piece of paper proving that you are not after the other person’s belongings, and if they love you they would not make you sign one. You need to be so sound in your feelings for the other person and their feelings for you that you know they would not take advantage of you and you are not willing to make them prove it.
I am so glad I am not even thinking of marriage yet. Not that the thought does not cross my mind, it does. But I know I am no where near ready to take that leap personally, and I know that my relationship with the person I would consider marrying is no where near ready for it either. Getting married is as big a decision, for me personally, as deciding to have sex with someone. Sharing something so intimate as sex is the same thing in my book as willing to spend your life with someone. Especially since the result of having sex, even once, could be a child.
I also see people having babies. And I thank God I am not one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I want children someday, but not right now. Not for a few years at least. Bringing a new life into the world is one of the greatest things we as humans can do. But, I see so many teenagers carrying a child in their body and the weight of the world on their shoulders. Parenthood is such a big step, and once again something that should not be taken lightly. Unfortunately, the advances in medicine allow people to have unprotected sex and then rely on a pill that is designed to prevent pregnancy. It does not always work. I have personally seen a couple struggle to have children for years, then are blessed with two babies, go back on the birth control pill and still get pregnant. It does not always work.
I know the body craves sex. I know it is difficult to say no to someone when your body is screaming yes.
Once again, people give into the chemical reactions they feel when someone enters the room.
I see all these people and I think to myself…I am so glad I am not there yet.
The you that I knew,
Where did you go? Come back please.
I don’t know you now.
Powerful whisper
Spoken out loud, the world stops
You’re all that I want.
I guess we differ
In what we expect from this
Now what do we do?
