I had this list of topics that I wanted to write about. I got really bored one night at work and just wrote down all the things I wanted to write about because they were bothering me. That was about two weeks ago. I think I touched on some of them in my last post (the one where I really wrote) so I don’t know what all to really try to cover in this one. I feel the need to write though. About something…anything…

I’ve decided to give myself a break from saving money for the year. I need a social life, and to do that I’m going to need money. So, instead of ten thousand dollars I am cutting it back to at least five thousand dollars. I know I’m not going to be able to work the amount of hours that I need/want to save that much, and with uni coming back into play and the possibility of paying rent to live away from my parents, I am going to be scrapping by.
I know that I don’t need to save the money, but I want to. And it’s still not the main priority in my life. I’ve got extra laying around and I’ll use it when I need to (for myself or for my friends). I splurged a bit on Saturday. I sent a good friend to another town to get away from drama and then took myself and another friend out to Fayetteville for a hookah. I needed a night out and even though I have two others planned, I needed to get out of town. The stress from work and family was too much and I needed to de-stress. (I feel like I am just repeating myself, but at this point I do not care.)

As far as uni plans go for next semester, I am still unsure. I was talking to my brother-in-law about going to a different university all together and I really think I want to. The only thing is, I won’t be able to work nearly enough, if any at all, to save money. I need to get a good education though, and the uni here in town is just not good enough for chemistry degrees. And I won’t be considered for as many scholarships since they do not have a marching band. If I go to the other uni in Fayetteville, I can do colorguard again and get money that way. And get the chance of being on television for football games, haha. I guess more news on that later…

I’ve been thinking about getting old… I don’t want to get old. I’ve always said that I would never be “old” and now I am pretty sure that I never will. I have been thinking about the residents I take care of and I see the ones who have Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia and if I ever get to that point, I want someone to put me down so I don’t have to burden those I love. I don’t care how that sounds, I’ve seen what that disease can do and it’s not something that I would wish on my worst enemy.

I’ve also been thinking about dating again. I’ve never really dated around, hell I’ve never really dated period. It was like pulling teeth to get my previous boyfriends to do something outside of the room. So, I’m going to allow myself to date around. Misty and I talked about that today, and I don’t know if I’ll really be able to do it. I get a little possessive when it comes to potential suitors. I know that I would want to date around, but I know a part of me will not like knowing that those guys would be dating around as well. It’s a little retarded and I know I will have to work on it before dating becomes even close to happening. I want the physical part back pretty badly though. I love kissing… I might call some guys and see what happens.

This summer is going to be busy for me. I was talking to Brendan over the hookah and plans are in the works for a trip to Seattle this July. My mum and I were talking about going to New York in May, but other plans have come up where surgery is needed and another friend is coming up and I haven’t seen her in over a year. So, I’m gonna probably going to Seattle for a week. I’m a bit excited at the idea of going to another unknown place.

I’ve run out of patience. And a television show is on that I want to see. And I have work in a couple hours.

I’m having a better day. At least, better than the day I had yesterday. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, which is actually a good thing this time.

:: I have a goal. Financial goals are always an easy thing for me to achieve, so this time I made it intentionally difficult. Ten thousand dollars. I will have ten thousand dollars excess in my bank account by the end of the year. For this to be a reality, I will have to put $450 from each pay check (every two weeks) into an account that I cannot touch. I’m pretty confident that this goal will get in the way of my intended trip to New York in May. I might be able to do it next year on Spring Break or something.

:: I will be able to start classes in the summer. I talked to the university admissions and they received the transcript from Missouri Southern and the one from Griffith University is on its way. I had to call them and pay for it with a credit card. Ten bucks to have them print and mail it, which really isn’t that bad. So, I wait for that to come in and then I enrol in classes. With any luck, I’ll be done in a year and a half, maybe the summer after. Then I’m gone again.

:: I hope to get a job offer from the University I attended. I’ll be able to do research and such. Or maybe I could work for the Aussie government. That would be kind of interesting.

:: I’ve been thinking about Caleb lately. A part of me misses him so much (as evident from a previous post), but another part of me is kind of…relieved. I don’t have nearly as much drama in my life, and I’ve realized I’ve grown since we’ve stopped talking. I knew before I ever met him that I have an addicting personality. Now, that is not me trying to say that people find me addicting or anything, it’s actually kind of the opposite. Once I find something that I enjoy, I immerse myself in it. When The Phantom of the Opera came out on DVD, I watched it 7 times in two days. I listened to the soundtrack exclusively for months. When I started watching Lost, I abandoned homework to finish the season. When I discovered kissing…things went downhill. I lost myself in a relationship because I enjoyed it too much. I’m happy to have myself back. And I am not in any hurry to get back into one. I’m pretty confident that I won’t be intimate with another guy again, physically or emotionally. I know how easily I can lose myself and I don’t want that to happen again. I have myself back and I’m not going to risk losing me again.

12 June 2009

Okay, so things are okay now. Actually, things are pretty good.

Uni: Finals start tomorrow. I have yet to really start studying. And we were given a whole week off to study, good on you Aussies. However, I am a horrible student and did not take advantage of it at all. Instead, I laid around the room and watched television and got on the internet. Nevertheless, finals will be finished in less than a week and I will have time to kill.

Social matters: I finally got to meet Pete. I mentioned finding a fellow in Brisbane before I got on the plane a few months ago. We’ve been chatting ever so often on the internet and texting a few times as well. He found himself in my area and we met up for coffee. He’s super nice and it was great to finally put a face to the name. Other than that, I have not really been socializing. I sent out a few e-mails to people in the States that I have lost contact with and even found an old friend on Facebook. That was pretty cool. And I may have a friend to visit when I want to make my way down to the southern states here in Oz.

Church: So, Caleb and I go to church on Sunday mornings. While there one morning a girl, Alex, came up to me and we started talking. She pretty much told us that we need to get in the habit of going to church on Wednesday nights because the “service” consists mainly of music and you can just go soak it in, hence the name “Soak”. We also ran into a few friends that we were getting in the habit of meeting up with every other Tuesday. Unfortunately we missed a few due to circumstances beyond our control and we were told that the meeting was this coming Tuesday. We planned on going to it and then the following night would be Soak. We never got the message for the Tuesday meeting, so we went out to eat instead. Then Wednesday we walked over to the church and it was locked. So, we missed out. And were kind of confused. But there is a young adult service tonight that we’re probably going to attend.

Family: I have no idea what they are up to really. I got a package sent out yesterday filled with goodies for them. I’m kind of excited to get pictures of the boys and their gifts. And I want to know what my dad thinks of his. I’m also supposed to get one from my mother soon too. Probably in two weeks. I told her to wait till she got mine so she could put pictures in it. My sister’s pregnancy is going well I guess. She seems super excited about the whole thing and even has part of his room set up. I wish I could be there for the birth, but pictures and video will suffice. I can’t imagine jetting back after less than a year for just a short time. When I go back, I want to see stuff. I want to go to New York and Texas and Tahoe and Utah and Chicago and Florida and …yeah, heaps of places. So, I want to wait on this trip and maybe convince my mother or father to come over here and see me and the beach.

Friends: I have kind of lost contact with my friends from the States. I am e-mailing a couple back and forth that I haven’t really seen or talked to since graduation, so that is nice. But the ones I had back in college are becoming distant. Lives are so hectic in drama-filled Arkansas, so that is understandable. However, I am making new friends here, which is nice. I am able to go out and do things without feeling awkward or like a third wheel now. I really wish I could keep the friendships I had made strong though.

I am off to study now. I want to actually pass the course with flying colours… maybe.

things change

Early posts…were so different. I was reading my posts from when I first started writing here. I noticed a change.
Not only has my writing style changed…but the passion behind them did too. I started writing blogs in January 2008. I had just formulated a plan with a friend of mine of almost 15 years. We were going to take a trip in December 2008. New York. At that point in our lives, neither one of us had taken a trip without family or school being involved. We were going to throw ourselves into a strange city knowing basically no one. Correction: We would have known one person. We had researched the methods to get there. Train versus plane versus Greyhound bus. Pricing the options. Looking at what date we would actually depart. What hotel we would stay at. How much money we would allot for hotel, transportation, subway fares, shopping, food, ect. We were planning the whole trip almost a year in advance. The whole 2008 year was centered around getting there.
::The trip moved up. I went in July. Alone. Knowing one person in all of New York. I took off work for 4 days and spent 5 days in New York. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. The only thing that could have made that trip more perfect would be that it did not end.
I may repeat the trip. I may take that original trip in December. I have yet to decide. I have the money for it. Already set aside in a bank account that I cannot touch for at least another month. I may not. I may stay here. I may go somewhere else. I may take the money and run.

http://iloveapplesandlint.wordpress.com/2008/01/14/this-is-my-life/

Home of Country Music Legends

I am in Nashville, TN. I am in Nashville. Nashville! Ah!

I’m so excited. I drove for a few hours. Like 10 almost. I find myself looking at signs that say “Nashville, TN”…wtf? I love it. I left this morning with absolutely no idea where I was going. And I ended up in Tennessee. Nashville. Tomorrow I will walk the streets of this city. I drove a little just to familiarize myself with it…
Broadway.
Tourists.
New York.

It feels like I’m back in New York City. Almost. There’s not nearly as much traffic. People are on the streets like no one’s business though. Lots of things to see. Lots of people taking pictures. (Asians, lol) I feel like I’m back in New York.
::But I’m not scared. I drove here on about 4 hours of sleep. I stopped in some local gas stations on the way, of course. I talked to strangers. *gasp* Actual strangers!

I was so at ease…I even asked for directions. I admitted to the rather short woman that I was from Arkansas, is there any way you could tell me to get to one of these hotels? Poor woman. She had no idea. Here I am towering over her asking for directions in a Walgreens and she’s surprised. To top things off, she had no idea where the hotels were. She ended up walking me to another worker and asking. They start mentioning street names and local landmarks…but I’m from Arkansas. And I’m horrible with directions. “Could you draw me a map?” I get a few laughs. I do end up getting to the hotel…but they’re booked. So, I venture on. I do find a place with free wireless internet. And an opening. And a pool!
So, here I am. Typing a blog. In Nashville.